Over a Month

Geez I'm a slacker! LOL. I think I want to talk about the website that's about the people of WalMart. I'm gonna insert pics and make my comments. This should be interesting! :D

Are you kidding me right now?!?! Excuse me ma'am, but your dick is showing!! WTF! Let me step past the fact that it's a man because I don't care how you dress or if you cross-dress or whatever....But dude, Paula Abdul called and she wants her 80s club wear back! TACKY! EWWWWWW! I hope his bra and panties at least match!!!

Gotta go with the caption this one had on it already, cause it was hella funny. So "when the moon hits your eye, from a big creepy guy, that a-nastay!!" HAHAHAHA!! OMG. Dude really, pull up your pants before people start trying to swipe their credit cards.

Well, that's all for today folks....gotta go do stuff! See ya next time!! Peace, love and chicken grease!

Serious

WARNING: Serious blog to follow (it happens sometimes so bear with me please)

I laid in bed this morning with my baby nephew sleeping soundly beside me and I cried. Why did I cry? Well, first because I'm a woman and that's just how we roll. Second, I think I was mourning the loss of my opportunity to ever hold my own child like that again. And third, because I don't understand how someone can have a gift as precious as this child and not want it. I mean are you kidding me? You'd rather run around with your head up some crazy chicks ass than to spend time with your son...SERIOUSLY?!?! You need your ass kicked. You don't make the decision to make a life....and YES, I know you DECIDED to do it....it wasn't an "oops" and it wasn't the first time you tried either...and then just shrug your shoulders and forget about him. What have you done for him? HUH? Are you a good example? HELL NO! You're not there for him. Does he know you're his daddy? NO...you're NEVER there!!! He knows your brother more than he knows you! What have you bought for him that you weren't ASKED to get? NOT A DAMN THING that I've seen. It's PATHETIC and I'd like to find you and that capital C that you run around with and kick her in the teeth for what she's turned you into. This child is precious and beautiful and his smile when he wakes up is amazing! He's talking now...did you know that? He's pulling up...did you know? NO NO and NO!! None of it. I'm ashamed of you. I used to be so proud of you. Proud to call you family but now...you're not my family! You have your own little family with your wifey...just ask her. Nobody else is important but her and that's the most pu$$y whipped, pathetic bullshit I've ever heard. NOBODY would keep me from my child!! And if they tried, I'd die trying to get to him. And to think...he's just a little ways down the road from you. So sad!!! But, I know that when he grows up, he's gonna know who was there for him. Who had clothes, diapers, food, formula, toys and whatever else he needed for him. He will know who took care of him. He will know who played with him and who took pictures of his beautiful smile. He will know his mama loved him, his great grandparents loved him, his aunts and uncle loved him....he'll know who was there and who wasn't. And one of these days he's gonna look at you and say "you were never there for me....why?" And I want to know your answer!!!!!!!

Dear Sour Puss & Drunk Guy...REALLY!?!

Dear Sour Puss & Drunk Guy:


I'll start with you dear Sour Puss!!!


ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! How do you spend over $100 for a ticket to a concert that CLEARLY lists the artists that will be there and then bitch, moan, roll your eyes and POUT the whole time?!? If you don't like country music....DON'T come to the concert and bring me down. If you don't like Hillary Billy then DO NOT show up, sit in front of me and SLEEP while she sings! If you don't want to see Redna Eck, don't come to the damn arena, sit in front of me and ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME when I scream for one of my all time FAVORITE singers! What the hell is wrong with you lady....REALLY!?! If you are that unhappy...get up off your whiny ASS and go to the car. At least then I won't have to look at you actin like a fool!! I really don't want to watch you give your husband the "stink eye" for paying attention to Hillary & Redna! Get over yourself! Hell, have a beer, some Jack Daniels...SOME XANAX and enjoy yourself. It won't kill you to crack a smile! I know, it might hurt a little at first since it seems your face is frozen in the "I just smelled a fart" position but the pain will ease! I'd really like to punch you in the back of the head and just roll your eyes on down the aisle for you since you love to roll them so much! AND THEN...at the END of the whole thing you stand up and clap along to the last songs...WHAT?!?! NO, sit yo ass down! You don't get to enjoy the last 10 minutes...sit down, roll your eyes and get outta my line of vision!! UGH!! 


Now, you, Mr. "I'll have another, another, and another!"


What are you thinking?? This is a HUGE event! Over 15,000 people are lookin' at you acting like you are gonna "fall" and NO ONE, including the guy next to you (who looks like he's ready to deck you just FYI!!) thinks it's funny!!! You are the only MALE who's standing up, much less DANCING, while Mr. Contree Mewzik is singing. LOOK AROUND...you don't have boobs....stop shimmying!!! None of us around you want to see your shake your XL ass! Please SIT DOWN! And for Pete's sake...PUT DOWN THE BEER!!! Stop doing the wave...NO ONE ELSE IS WITH YOU! Oh, wait...UH OH! The people sitting around you got tired of you acting like an idiot and left! That's cute. Oh, no, I was wrong, they just got tired of you acting stupid and took care of it...the cops are here now. Aaaaaand you're gone! Problem solved!! Too bad, you missed out on a GREAT rest of the concert!! Hope Miller, Bud & Busch were worth a night in jail! LOL! 


Sincerely,
Me!


(Moral of the story??  Don't drink and dance...it's not cute! haha)


All-in-all, minus Sour Puss & Tiny 'drunk' Dancer the night was GREAT!! Who could have ever imagined! Dream come true!!!


Thanks SIS!!!!!!! 


XOXO
Peace, Love, & Chicken Grease!

Sick & Suck...1 Letter Difference. Coincidence? I Think NOT!

Being sick sucks!! There's no debate about that.


Recently, I had a very good friend, whom I hadn't seen in a long, long time, offer to fix my husband and I dinner. We hadn't seen her or her husband for a very long time, so it was really a no-brainer! I was looking forward to the company and I'm not going to lie, the RIBS! I've been hungry for ribs for such a long time. We talked the whole week...by Thursday, I could taste the ribs!!


Thursday night (we were getting together on Saturday), I started feeling kinda "icky". I went to bed and figured I'd wake up and be better. W-R-O-N-G!! I woke up about 1:30am Friday morning with a pain in my stomach like no other. I spent the rest of the morning and the day throwing up. OH HELL NO!! This was unacceptable!! I had ribs to prepare for! Okay...so, I'm never sick, like this, for more than a day. It won't be a problem. I'll be fine and I'll eat my RIBS!!!


Friday night...STILL SICK! WHAT?!?!? No, this can't be. I have ribs to eat tomorrow. Are you listening...(who the hell am I talking to??? The voices in my head? They don't give a shit, they're SICK!!!). I'm weak, I'm sleepy and at this point, my guts are inside out. There can't possibly be anything left in my stomach to make me sick....right? WRONG AGAIN!!! I spend Friday night SICK and PISSED!!! I will eat my ribs...count on it!!


Saturday....so! damn! tired! I just want to sleep and NOT puke! Please....wait, I have ribs to eat but my stomach says NO! You have got to be kidding me. My friend has told me about the friends who've cancelled plans on them, we haven't seen them in so long, SHE COOKED ME RIBS, and I'm laying here shaking, weak, and just want to sleep. KISS MY ASS!!!!  So, I'm going to sleep and see how I feel.


"Babe! Babe! Wake up! Babe!"
WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!!!
"Uh, you need to get ready!"
UH, I'M SICK! ASS!!
"Babe, the food's done. They've been cooking all day."
SHIT! Sorry babe. Okay....I'm getting up.


So, it's Saturday afternoon, my ribs are done, our friends are waiting & I'm as sick as I can remember being in a LONG, LONG time. Fresh air and good company will do me good! I'll get ready and I'll feel better by the time we get there and I'll eat ribs! :D YES RIBS!! YUMM! Ribs that my dear friend (you don't know how much you miss someone until you find them again and realize how much you enjoy their company, conversation and their crazy! :D love ya! hehe) fixed cause I said I was hungry for ribs. Who does that?? True, crazy friends who would be sitting by you in jail going "hell yeah, that was GREAT!!"...that's who!! A true friend!! MY TRUE FRIEND!


I'm dressed, I'm ready, hubby is ready, kiddo is ready, we're going out the door....I am feeling....like shit! Dang! Okay...so I just need a Sprite to keep my stomach settled. I'll roll the window down a little & I'll be fine. I roll down my window and I'm........asleep before we get out of town!!


"Almost there babe!"


Crap....I still feel like crap. I'M EATING THESE RIBS!!!!!!!!!!! You can't! I AM! I can't....DAMN!


There's no way I can eat the ribs, my stomach is still too upset. Does my friend get mad...no, she's just glad to see me. Did her ribs smell FANTASTIC? YES they did!! She had fixed all kinds of side dishes and a HUGE batch of ribs...2 whole slabs...big, juicy, yummy.....I DIDN'T get to EAT ANYTHING! :(
I laughed & talked & enjoyed the company so much though!


Lesson: Sick = Suck I don't care if there's a letter difference or not!!!! Good friends.....don't care if you're sick or you suck OR BOTH...they are just there for you & they cook you RIBS....even when you're too sick to eat them!!! I will have my revenge on the ribs!!! But I'd rather just have another great night with friends....MINUS THE SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Love you guys!!!!
:D

Random Hilarious Facebook Statuses...or NOT!

This is my first ever blog post and to be quite honest, I have no idea what I'm doing. A warning....my grammar sucks. I use way too many commas and the three evil dots! I've been told I have a twisted sense of humor and should keep things to myself but I have so much to say that I had to find a way to get it out, so here I am!! Oh yeah, I love run on sentences and exclamation points too!! I'm a major smartass, or so I've been told, but I'm missing that filter that goes between my brain and my mouth and if it crosses my mind, it crosses my lips. I tend to throw cuss words around like it's nothing, sorry ahead of time for that! I figured for my first blog that I'd share some crazy shit that has crossed my mind or that I've read somewhere.

My husband once asked me if he was driving me crazy. I had always heard "short trip" in response to someone saying "You're driving me crazy!!". With that in mind, I laughed and said "Baby, if you were driving me crazy it would be a very short trip...in reverse!" I've used it many times sense and passed it along to some of my crazy friends! I'm sure I wasn't the first person to say that, but I'm delusional enough to believe it! LOL

This doesn't really fall into the categories I said I was going to talk about but I'm random like that so...deal with it! hehe! So, when I was little I used to call raisins "rarus". Sometimes I still do it! I will say "yum, rarus" or something else random like that. My poor husband just looks at me like "well, she's at it again!" haha! Gotta love him.

I'm in love with these "fail" sites. Failblog, damnyouautocorrect, things like that. They crack me up with some of the random stuff you come across. Some people kill me with their stupidity!! But, I'm starting to believe these people are around for my enjoyment! hehe. I know, that's mean...but it gets me through the day. I'm going to post a couple more blogs...hopefully I'll actually stick to my title one or two of those times! :D

I know this is totally random but that's me and that's my life & I love it!! I hope maybe you get a laugh or two.  Peace, Love, n Chicken Grease!